It is something i cannot explain
It is like being full, yet void at the same time
It is like a heart pounding, racing, beating profusely in your chest
It is a mind that wanders, from the break of dawn till dusk sets in, it is a full time job, managing thoughts, chaotic and turbulent, pleasant and cheerful, like 4seasons time 4 in one day
It is like a smile that is painted on, contoured to perfection, bright and flashy, with the stern and coldness of a botox injection
It is eyes that appear to have stars in them, that twinkle is tears resisting to spill out and flood the flawlessly viewed face
Breathing, one, two, three… But no one sees how every gasp of air seems to be smaller then the previous. Chest expands, and yet it feels like drowning
Lonely it feels, surrounded by many, yet understood by none.
I wish I could explain, but how can I, when I can’t even explain it to myself
Gasping for air, holding back tears, smiling to keep up appearances, utterances of confidence, keeping a poised pose. Anxiously anxious fighting of the deepness of the darkest of depressed depths.
It is unknown by the external , a constant turmoil internal
Johyphendene
johyphendene 