Ever wondered why people are so “concerned” about what you are doing with your life? Are they really concerned? Do they really care? Are they looking for a topic of conversation to bring up the next time they have a get together? Is this a question to revel and boast about how well they are doing? Is this a way to subtly mock your choices, because you didn’t conform, to what is seen as “normal”? Is this a way to feel sorry for you because according to the “what-you-are-supposed-to-be-at-a-certain-age-and stage”, you seemed to have failed at (do note this is just an opinion of others and not a norm)?
A friend once said, “If you don’t Feed me, Finance me or Fuck me, I don’t see how my choices, actions or behaviour has anything to do with you, nevertheless, why should I be explaining myself to you”. Interesting isn’t it? the people who has the most to comment about one’s life, are those outside of the three F’s, who most of the time doesn’t even contribute a positive impact on your life (And no, pointing out your short comings and what you don’t have, yet, is negative energy and vibes that you do not require).
A lot of the time, people have requirements of others, because yes, others can sometimes see the potential we have that we cannot see ourselves. Other times, it is just plain competition even though it may not seem like it, but if you delve down into a subconscious level you will see it. There are a lot of times when you get judged by your peers because you aren’t on the same level as they are. Okay, so who created the level? Society, the media, ones perception of what is “supposed” to be the norm and what is expected? It seems that when you aren’t conforming to a norm, that you seem to be singled out as a failure, as failing at life, all because the “norm”, isn’t your “normal”.
We create our own Normal, we conform to our own beliefs, to what feels comfortable, to what makes us happy, to be what we want to be and who we desire to become, without conforming to what others want, perceive and figured what we are supposed to be like. The moment we explain the hows and whys, it means that we owe that person or people something. Why should the fact that we aren’t conforming to an idea of what is normal, be seen as wrong, as failing at life? Does life have a guide, does it come with instructions and solid outlines as to what should be acquired and required at certain checkpoints, (18, 21, 25, 30, 40, etc)? We get judged when we don’t live according to a certain standard, but who sets the standard? You?
If we surround ourselves and allow people to question the things that we do and why we do it and it impacts us in a negative way, we lose our power and start to question why we are doing what we are doing in the first place. There are however people who are genuinely concerned, people who want to revel in our positivity, people who want to help us and be excited for what we have achieved and what we are working towards. We decide if we want positive or negativity people and comments, to be the driving force behind what we do.
So whichever side of the 3 F’s you find yourself, if you cannot make a positive contribution then your comments, remarks and opinion are unwanted. Allow those in your life who do not care for an explanation and can clearly see that where you are is where you need to be and contributes positive energy and vibes to make you want to be the best version of yourself and not what they perceive to be “normal”.
johyphendene 