Three Simple words

“Are you okay?”

Three words that can be so powerful. Most times we just shrug it off and say that we are fine/ okay, because most times we are. And then just that one moment in time, when you get asked that question, that phrase, those three words, when you just utterly and completely start breaking down.

 

Who would think that three simple words, three can make you crash down when you have been trying to be strong and in control for so long.

Who would think that three simple words, can open a box of emotions kept hidden behind a façade of smiles and laughs.

Who would think that three simple words can make tears flow like streams to cleanse a body and soul stained with darkness.

Who would think that three simple words can be the catalyst for a journey of exploration. Exploration that hurts to the core as pain drowns the lungs and no grip on positivity can be inhaled. Drowning, gasping, wheezing, puffing for air…just one breath

Who would think that three simple words can force you to surrender, surrender to the vulnerability that has consistently been knocking at your door to be acknowledged.

Who would think that three simple words can shred a mask of strength to pieces, a mask hiding all that is unsaid, a mask so transparent for the one who wears it.

Who would think that three simple words is all it takes, all it takes to be completely honest, when honesty demands to be recognized and can no longer be concealed.

Who would think that three simple words can make you lose control, control that you shouldn’t even have been in, from the start.

 

Who would think that three simple words can be the difference between completely giving up and somehow pushing through the pain and just breathe for one more day.

 

Small Victories

 

Sometimes it is all about the small victories… Sometimes even a small victory (no matter how insignificant it may seem) doesn’t feel like a victory… sometimes those small victories (even if you don’t or can’t seem to notice it) are the only thing that keeps you standing, that keeps you going and hold out for the for BIG successes …sometimes those small victories are masked by our craving to already be triumphant and neglecting the fact that after every instance we come out a little stronger, a little enhanced, a little more resilient.

 

So it is not that we don’t choose to necessarily see the wins that we accumulate along the way, it is just that sometimes in the eye of the encounter, even being able to breathe seems impossible. This may seem a little far-fetched or exaggerated, but is true.

 

Sometimes a victory is being able to get out of bed after being cocooned in the metaphorical safe space that it provides.

Sometimes a victory is opening the curtains, letting the sunshine in, opening the window and letting the breeze blow through.

Sometimes a victory is stepping out of the darkness that seems so secure and comfy, as to the light that is so uncomfortable it edges on terrifying.

Sometimes a victory is looking at your reflection in a mirror as too shying away from the image that will stare back at you and you aren’t willing to face.

Sometimes a victory is admitting that you aren’t okay after hiding behind masks and smiley faces, fronting and keeping it all together.

Sometimes a victory is smiling after the glow in your eye has been lost, the curves of your mouth turned upside down and when it seems you have forgotten how to utilize that grin.

Sometimes a victory is being vulnerable after having been spirited, resilient and strong to a breaking point.

Sometimes a victory is just you, being gentle with yourself instead of being harsh, critical and even unkind towards your accomplishments and who you are as a whole.

Sometimes a victory is loving and accepting yourself, when you lose faith in your mind, your heart, your goals, dreams and desires… Loving yourself when you feel unworthy and unfit of love, specially the love from yourself.

 

Sometimes a victory is just you allowing yourself to be you…

A, you who sees these little victories as the biggest achievement ever…

A, you who gathers up all these little wins and piles them up as trophies and memorabilia…

A, you whose small victories sometimes means more than any huge victory could ever mean.