As she navigates her way through this unknown world, this captivating magically mystical world she finds herself in. She cannot help but wonder what and where she will eventually end up. She still pinches herself to make sure that she isn’t dreaming, and if this had really become her reality. When she leapt down that rabbit hole she could never have anticipated all that she would see, all that she would realise, all that she had to encounter, all the new and scary things that she had to go through and all this is part of the unknown that now strikes a new-found awareness.
As she sits in silence wondering what her next move will be, what steps she needs to take in order the journey forth, her mind wonders to a million different places and events. In the stillness is where she makes sense of it all, if it all makes sense she doesn’t know yet, but she knows it all seems a little bit clearer now.
She always fought the biggest fights against her heart and mind. Her heart and mind being in total contradiction of her needs and wants, what is realistic and what is fantasy, does she need to stay, or does she need to go, does she follow through and preserve despite all the bumps and bruises or does she give up and walk away relieved yet defeated. But as she sits in silence basking in the vibration of all that was and all that is, she knows that this journey thus far has been exactly what she had to experience, laughs and cries and all.
She used to think it was okay to play small, or when it happened when she was shrunken to a teeny bit of herself, finding herself lost in a maze of discoveries to be unlocked. As she hid behind the bushes and seek shelter from all the unknown threats, and even all the majestic surprises. For a minute she was okay with it, for a while she was okay with having to hide and walk in the shadows to remain hidden and safe. But that she knew that remaining small was not what this journey was busy teaching her. As she moved through this maze, the intricate turns, the multiple hiding places, she became more aware. She became more attentive to all she was once oblivious to, she became aware of the millions of little particles that plays a role to grow. For so long she was fixated on the big bigger and how all would eventually fit together that she neglected to also take in all the small moments. Whether it was the victory of being able to jump over a little puddle or holding tight when the winds blew in all directions, or even just being able to smile when all she wanted to do was cry. It was those shadows that scared her most, not knowing what hid behind the next corner, whether it would be a dead end again or whether that would lead to the opening that she hoped for. But despite being small she tightened those buckles on her shoes, pulled up her stockings and ventured forth, using the shadows to guide her through the maze. In being small she found that she was stronger than she was aware off, that she was significant despite her size, that becoming mindful of all the little elaborate surroundings, that somehow it starts to make sense how the whole bigger picture will eventually be formed. Being small, embracing and becoming aware of the surroundings is what made it possible to eventually navigate through the maze. She found being small gave her necessary resources and mindfulness to move through the darkness and with every passing shadow she grew taller, prouder, stronger as all these little things are lessons throughout her journey.
Being small, made her appreciate how big she was. It made her view that big picture in a new and mindful way. She had always known that, that big picture (that waved and winked at her in the distance and gave her a taste of how it will feel, look and smell when she ultimately attained it by getting glimpses more often than she would have liked- I mean the journey was and is already strenuous to state it mildly) was and will always be hers to acquire. Whenever she felt a glimpse of the bigger picture so often she got totally and utterly engulfed in it all that she neglected to be aware of all the smaller parts that had and still must flow together for that big picture to come to full fruition.
As she sits in stillness, she starts balancing out the energies, the energy of all that she learned when she was small, all she had to become aware of all over again, all she had to embrace to make this journey all it is and have been thus far. By seeing the big picture in the distance, she knows that is more than just attainable, but also that she shouldn’t get so fixated on that, that she gets lost in what is yet to come and not fully be engulfed in the small little moments that build up to that moment. In stillness she finds gratitude, in stillness she finds peace in her journey and know that she would jump down that hole again, bruises, bumps and all. She is braver than she was before, more resilient, more appreciative to the surrounding beauty, whether it be darkness for a bit or light throughout. The leap down the rabbit hole, is how her journey started, pushing forward, seeing and feeling all the glorious magical surprises that awaits her throughout.
As she sits gently, she awaits her next step in this enchanted journey. Aware and ready, step by step, jumping over puddles or floating on fluffy clouds, it is her journey down the rabbit hole.
johyphendene 