Leap down the rabbit hole Part 4 (InStillness)

 

As she navigates her way through this unknown world, this captivating magically mystical world she finds herself in. She cannot help but wonder what and where she will eventually end up. She still pinches herself to make sure that she isn’t dreaming, and if this had really become her reality. When she leapt down that rabbit hole she could never have anticipated all that she would see, all that she would realise, all that she had to encounter, all the new and scary things that she had to go through and all this is part of the unknown that now strikes a new-found awareness.

 

As she sits in silence wondering what her next move will be, what steps she needs to take in order the journey forth, her mind wonders to a million different places and events. In the stillness is where she makes sense of it all, if it all makes sense she doesn’t know yet, but she knows it all seems a little bit clearer now.

 

She always fought the biggest fights against her heart and mind. Her heart and mind being in total contradiction of her needs and wants, what is realistic and what is fantasy, does she need to stay, or does she need to go, does she follow through and preserve despite all the bumps and bruises or does she give up and walk away relieved yet defeated. But as she sits in silence basking in the vibration of all that was and all that is, she knows that this journey thus far has been exactly what she had to experience, laughs and cries and all.

 

She used to think it was okay to play small, or when it happened when she was shrunken to a teeny bit of herself, finding herself lost in a maze of discoveries to be unlocked. As she hid behind the bushes and seek shelter from all the unknown threats, and even all the majestic surprises. For a minute she was okay with it, for a while she was okay with having to hide and walk in the shadows to remain hidden and safe. But that she knew that remaining small was not what this journey was busy teaching her. As she moved through this maze, the intricate turns, the multiple hiding places, she became more aware. She became more attentive to all she was once oblivious to, she became aware of the millions of little particles that plays a role to grow. For so long she was fixated on the big bigger and how all would eventually fit together that she neglected to also take in all the small moments. Whether it was the victory of being able to jump over a little puddle or holding tight when the winds blew in all directions, or even just being able to smile when all she wanted to do was cry. It was those shadows that scared her most, not knowing what hid behind the next corner, whether it would be a dead end again or whether that would lead to the opening that she hoped for. But despite being small she tightened those buckles on her shoes, pulled up her stockings and ventured forth, using the shadows to guide her through the maze. In being small she found that she was stronger than she was aware off, that she was significant despite her size, that becoming mindful of all the little elaborate surroundings, that somehow it starts to make sense how the whole bigger picture will eventually be formed. Being small, embracing and becoming aware of the surroundings is what made it possible to eventually navigate through the maze. She found being small gave her necessary resources and mindfulness to move through the darkness and with every passing shadow she grew taller, prouder, stronger as all these little things are lessons throughout her journey.

 

Being small, made her appreciate how big she was. It made her view that big picture in a new and mindful way. She had always known that, that big picture (that waved and winked at her in the distance and gave her a taste of how it will feel, look and smell when she ultimately attained it by getting glimpses more often than she would have liked- I mean the journey was and is already strenuous to state it mildly) was and will always be hers to acquire. Whenever she felt a glimpse of the bigger picture so often she got totally and utterly engulfed in it all that she neglected to be aware of all the smaller parts that had and still must flow together for that big picture to come to full fruition.

 

As she sits in stillness, she starts balancing out the energies, the energy of all that she learned when she was small, all she had to become aware of all over again, all she had to embrace to make this journey all it is and have been thus far. By seeing the big picture in the distance, she knows that is more than just attainable, but also that she shouldn’t get so fixated on that, that she gets lost in what is yet to come and not fully be engulfed in the small little moments that build up to that moment. In stillness she finds gratitude, in stillness she finds peace in her journey and know that she would jump down that hole again, bruises, bumps and all. She is braver than she was before, more resilient, more appreciative to the surrounding beauty, whether it be darkness for a bit or light throughout. The leap down the rabbit hole, is how her journey started, pushing forward, seeing and feeling all the glorious magical surprises that awaits her throughout.

As she sits gently, she awaits her next step in this enchanted journey. Aware and ready, step by step, jumping over puddles or floating on fluffy clouds, it is her journey down the rabbit hole.

daring to Begin

 

Dare to Begin…

Every year we have this tendency to compose a list; a list where we state what we want to improve on, in the new and upcoming year. This list is known as New Year’s Resolutions, according to the dictionary “Resolution” is defined as the firm decision to do or not do something. More often than not, we make a decision to actually do something and change habits and practices that no longer suits us, or make a decision to improve our lifestyles, whether it be physical, mental, and emotional. So what does this entail, it means that we want to become better versions of ourselves, by leaving behind old habits and adopting new ones. What we sometimes forget is that a resolution ultimately becomes a lifestyle change, it is something that has to be worked on and effort has to be put into it in order for it to be successful. The moment things start to become difficult and not as easy as we once anticipated, it is easy to just say goodbye to the resolutions and fall back into old ways.

 

Dare to Begin, is the only resolution/decision/ goal I set for myself. Why? Because at the end of the day in order for things to change in one’s life, doesn’t one just have to dare to begin, no matter how fearful and scary it may seem. Me writing now, is me daring to begin…typing letter after letter, hoping that it will make perfect sense, hoping that I will be able to convey the message that I have within me, beginning to overcome fear that withheld me from writing and carefully masked as being “writers block”.

 

So why am I daring to begin? Well two days ago I had a freak accident while getting out of the shower. As I got out of the shower and opened the sliding door, the glass shattered (thank heavens for shatterproof glass), it basically crumbled into a shit load of tiny pieces. Here I am standing naked and vulnerable, pieces of glass scattered all over the floor and I just saw blood, in a moment of clarity, I was looking around and all of a sudden a sense of calmness just came over me. I saw deep red blood spattered against the crisp white tiles and had to figure out where this blood came from and how to get out of the shower without hurting myself any further. I basically freaked out after all was done, but in that moment, I saw the blood oozing from my wrist (a piece of glass cut into my wrist, and the blood just flowed like water from a tap), and I somehow had to stop the bleeding and get out of there. It is funny, instead of freaking out, I remained calm, I grabbed a towel (my brother brought a few fresh towels coz I screamed for him to help and bring towels) and tried to stop the bleeding, I got out and then everything happened fast… I rinsed all the excess glass off and had to go to the Doctor coz I just figured I needed stitches… you know you always freak out after everything happens, and it freaked me out afterwards, I was scared for all that could have happened… the glass could have not been shatterproof and shards of sharp glass could have penetrated my body, I could have lost the feeling in my thumb and just 1cm closer a major artery could have been cut (it is my left hand)…and I walked away with a few scratches and 8 stitches, even though the bathroom looked like a crime scene and now I know that there is indeed a 1000 ways to die..  I am just grateful, I am immensely grateful.

What did I take from that experience? Sometimes we get into seriously scary situations and fear takes over and it stops us from wanting to do everyday things, like taking a shower. But we have to conquer and overcome that fear and just dare to begin and try again.

There will be petrifying moments, there will be terrifying thoughts and chilling experiences, but we have to look beyond the fear and keep going. Fear keeps us from doing, trying and experiencing all the bliss that is set out for us and as long as we keep focussed on that fear, we will never begin.

So for this 1 universal year, I am just daring to begin…daring to begin in spite of fear, choosing to be fearless and keep on going, daring to be the best version of myself, being brave enough to overcome challenges and to always remain grateful. We learn through challenges and encounters, but at the end of the day we just have to be brave enough to begin again and just push forward.

 

So resolutions, I don’t have that… I am just daring to begin… daring to begin and taking on new challenges, new things…there will be shattered glass trying to penetrate ones skin, how we choose to handle that and move forward, is what makes us a better version of ourselves.

happiness of self

 

Have you ever done something just because you wanted to do it for yourself? No pressure, no outside influence, no person to impress but yourself. Have you ever just felt that the only person that you need to impress at the end of the day is yourself? Obviously there is a vast amount of pressure when you want to do some or other thing for yourself and this pressure doesn’t necessarily come from within, but mostly from outside, external influences.

 

I am an extremely sensitive person, you won’t ever say that when you see my badass exterior, but hey didn’t you know that looks can ultimately be deceiving. The past few years or let’s say for the past two years I made a decision to start doing things for myself. When I say doing things for myself; I mean that every decision I make is based on how it will make me feel, what the best will be for me and no longer to impress anyone screaming comments from the side-lines or voicing opinions that in the past made me doubt myself and my abilities. So many times we do things to impress or for the benefit of others, there is nothing wrong to do things to benefit others, but the moment you start doing so and no longer have a clear vision of who and what you are, as you lost yourself in the process.

 

I started writing for myself, actually I started writing to make sense of who and what Jo-dene is, who she was and who she is supposed to be. With every letter and word I write it is actually me talking to myself, about myself; what is going on in my head, heart and body and me just trying to make sense of what is happening in the present, why things happened in the past and to have a positive outlook for the future. I write to make sense of my truths, of what makes me happy, what makes me sad, I write because it makes me feel whole. So as I started my journey as a writer I sometimes wrote for other people, I started to write for the ‘Likes’, ‘Comments’ and ‘Followers’, as soon as I started doing that, I started to suffer from major writers block, I started to doubt if what I laid down on paper was good enough, if it would attract the attention that I was seeking and wanted. As I wrote for the external opinions, I started to lose the thing that made me whole. There is nothing as wonderful as people complimenting you on a well written piece, there is nothing as exciting as getting positive feedback and people wanting more, but there is nothing as disappointing  when the compliments start to dry up and the positive feedback just completely stops. But then you start to think, why you are doing this in the first place; are you doing it to get recognition from you’re your peers (and yes obviously getting recognition is absolutely amazing), are you doing it to be loved and adored, or do you do it because it literally is the only thing that makes sense no matter which way you twist and turn it and because it is the part that makes you whole.

 

As thrilling and amazing as the positive opinions and comments of others are, the actual opinion and comment that actually matter is that of your own. No matter how many times you want to do things to impress others at the end of the day, you have to be impressed with yourself and how it makes you feel. Whenever I finish writing a piece, I get this rush of adrenaline shooting through my body, an attack of butterflies in my stomach, goose bumps creeping on my skin and an uncontrollable smile radiating from a place of happiness from within. It is only when I write for myself, when I reveal truths so deeply hidden, thoughts so mingled up, fears that I want to overcome, desires that I yearn for and dreams that I am slowly attaining, it is only then when it feels right. There is just something amazing about approving oneself, about loving oneself, one’s artistry, something wonderful about doing what makes you so tremendously happy, that if it sits well in your heart and soul, then that is the only approval that you need, want and seek.

The moment you start doing things for yourself, things that makes your heart pound out of your chest as adrenaline pumps through your veins as happiness pours over every inch of your body, that is when you know you are doing the right thing, that you are on the right path. Yes accolades and recognition would be wonderful, but the same positive opinions of others can turn to negative ones tomorrow. So give yourself a round of applause, give yourself a high 5 and get high on the happy feeling that fills you up every time you do something for yourself, that makes your soul light up, your heart smile and your body and mind radiate the self-approval, self-love, self-confidence, self-acceptance and happiness of self that comes from within.

past mistakes = Growth

“The past is the past and we cannot be constantly be reminded of things that we have done, things that took us forever to forgive ourselves for and still have people throwing it in our face.”

The best part of growing up is that we are constantly evolving, we are constantly changing and growing into better versions of ourselves. We change on a daily basis, these changes are triggered by an inherit desire to be the best version that we can be. We desire to grow not only physically, (yes, sometimes we still want to grow vertically), but hey that is nature’s call, but we desire to grow emotionally to deal with various emotions and situations better than a year ago, even a month or day ago. We want to grow spiritually to become more aware, more compassionate, to make sense of our own lives and the world we live in. We want to grow for ourselves, we do not want to remain the same person, physically maybe, but where our emotions, dreams, goals, desires and who we are meant to be, we want to be the best, so whether that is version 5.0 or 8.9, it all depends on how we see ourselves.

I think the worst part of growing into a better person or the person you want to be is when you get reminded of things you may have done in the past. As we grow we go through different stages, different phases and life happens. We make choices at specific times that suit our mind-sets at the time, who we are, what we want and what we think we need. When we are younger we tend to be more impulsive and we want to do things that make us feel good at that specific time, as we are created to live in the here and now and be fully aware and present. As we grow older we realise that choices we may have made wasn’t necessarily the best, but what allows us to grow is that we take inventory of both the negative and positive consequences of choices made and applying them in to our daily lives. Learning from past mistakes is what catapults us, not wanting to make the same mistakes or doing things in a different manner, but ultimately we allow ourselves to take the lessons and apply it in our ever evolving and growing persona.

So you might have been this party animal, who week after week had this routine of getting wasted and ended up feeling like shit, but even from that you learn something, maybe that partying is a definite no-no, or that moderation, once in a year, is what you are supposed to do. You might have been this loud, obnoxious, vain person, but as time goes on, as you get to know yourself better you realise that, that was a part of yourself that you outgrew and that was just your ego covering up the fear of being yourself. You may have made choices, by dating, hooking up with various people, because that made you feel good at that specific time, but as you grow you realise that even those experiences lead you to a better you, as you learn from the past and take all the positives from those experiences.

We forgive ourselves for failures, for mistakes, for “wrong” choices made and forgiving yourself is one of the most difficult things to do, because we live with the guilt of what we have done. The most liberating feeling is when you forgive yourself and taking the lessons from it and bettering yourself. When we forgive ourselves it doesn’t mean that we forget all that we have done, it just means that we love ourselves enough to not have this guilt ridden emotion take control of our lives. We learn to not make the same mistakes or make different choices, but somewhere along the line, someone will remind you of something you did, it may not be vindictive or it might be, but how you react to it reflects on the growth you made. You might wallow in the fact that some people will always remember that part of you, but that is their thing, not yours. You know what it took to forgive yourself, to live with that baggage every day, so if people cannot see how strong your growth game is and they rather want to cling to who you were once upon a time, basically, screw them.

The past is the past, and yes, you know what you did, but part of growing into the best version of yourself is to embrace that and move on from it. So if people still want to judge you on things you did, it just shows you are growing and the moment comments don’t affect you anymore, you know that you forgave yourself completely and you don’t need people who cannot get over things you have done, when you already moved past it.

You are not the same person you were a day ago, never mind a month, or year ago. Growth game is strong and being the best version of who you are and can be, is all that matters.

x o x o – L O V E

The past few weeks I have been captured by a series that I totally love and will probably watch over and over again. So I have been watching Gossip Girl again, yes, “you know you love me, xoxo Gossip Girl”, just gets me every single time. I guess I just needed to be totally and utterly engulfed by the love, drama and lives of fictional characters for a bit, especially because I can relate to every character in one way or another, and it is basically just an escape and the best way to get answers that wrecks the brain a bit.

The interpersonal relationships in the series is what gets me, at some point or another I have been prim and proper yet conniving Blair, wild, cannot be tamed and care free Serena, even Lily (but that is a story for another day). I love how they love, I love how Lily and Rufus cannot deny their love for each other, even after 20 years building lives with others people, and something just keeps pulling them back together, maybe something exists like “ou liefde roes nooit”. I don’t know why but the first time I followed the series I was more fixated on the up and down spiral of the whole Dan and Serena, even Chuck and Blair (because who can deny that, that drama happens every day if you just look around), probably because I was younger as well and could identify more with the younger characters. Who can resist a Chuck and Blair show down, the chemistry is undeniably fuelled by love, lust and power and it is so sexy. Nothing is more sweet than the Dan and Serena journey, people from different worlds (opposites do attract, that’s what they say after all) who just cannot deny that they are all that they have been searching for. But back to my Rufus and Lily point, this relationship has me tripping balls, despite the drama and what else not, the passion and undying love that they have for one another.

James Bay has this wonderful song “If you ever want to be in love” and it ties in so beautifully with the relationship that they have (takes you on a trip and a half), “I’ll come around if you ever want to be in love, I’m not waiting, but I’m willing if you call me up, if you ever want to be in love, I’ll come around”. So it basically took them 20 years to get back together after a chance encounter, because their kids started dating (yes that is kind of awkward, I know of similar situations), but after so many years their passion and love that they felt toward each other was stronger than ever, but as life is, it comes with its own crossroads and decisions. And yet again to spare the feelings of others, they decided to do what was right for everyone else and to be apart. When Lily married Bart, he asked her if she was willing to let Rufus go for him, so how apparent and real was their love, when her husband to be was aware of it, but he wanted her so much, that he was willing to live with the fact that even though she will commit herself to him, a part of her will always belong to someone else. So Rufus didn’t stop the wedding like in the Wale- “Matrimony” music video, but he wanted too, and making the hard decision to see someone you love marry someone else, because that is what reality expects from you.

I am genuinely engulfed with awakened emotions, caused by this series, I am not assessing it, this is just how I see it, and seriously like Selena said “The heart wants, what it wants”. But it is wonderful to escape to a fictional world, to escape and get caught up, get answers that you didn’t even know you were seeking, to see something new that you never noticed before, to realise that Love is the driving force, to give it, to receive it, to ultimately keep it safe and protected and to know that it not only overcomes all, but it conquers all.

one of Those Nights

So it is one of those night; Yes, those Monday Nights that was supposed to be a Spur Monday Night Burger Special, and it ended up being drinks at the local watering hole, which was also the only place open, it is a Monday after all. But anyway, it is 2 ‘o’clock and it is frowned upon to come home at this hour on a Monday Night, well it is actually Tuesday Morning already, but I guess that is what happens when you #TurnUpWitTurner…

This is one of those nights, when it is a good thing to have a through back, but I like to call it a #MemoirMonday, it is a good thing to get Nostalgic, it is a wonderful thing to relive the journey that you have had in just a couple of years. Because I bet you aren’t the same person you were at High School and isn’t it wonderful to see how much you have changed, someone you never could have anticipated that you would be. Most of us had this romanticized idea about who we wanted to be, who we would have loved to be and now with the reality, but this is who I am now. Then you just have one of these random Monday Nights and you realise, this is who I am supposed to be, this is the me that the Now requires.

I guess it is all of these random conversations that lead to ideas being planted in brains, this is where creativeness sprouts from, this is were listening becomes crucial, because you listen before you speak, you listen before you respond, you listen because words spoken had you so quiet, you just had to take a breath, digest and let it simmer for a while. It is about loving each other’s hustle, it is about respecting each other’s cause, it’s about valuing of ideas and concepts, it’s about the friendship.

So it was one of those nights that was just what the doctor prescribed, one of those nights where you could just relax, breathe and let it go, one of those nights when being happy was all that was required.

taking my own advice

It is so easy to give everyone around you sound and useful advice, when they are going through a somewhat difficult time, need a pep talk, need their confidence boosted, when they lost a chance/opportunity. Why is it so difficult to follow your own advice, why is it so difficult to sometimes remain positive when negativity and rejection strikes from all angles?

So apparently dealing with it and trying to be your own positive voice is what needs to be done, basically, taking the same meds that you dish out to others. So recently I chased an opportunity, something that I have been dreaming of, something that I wanted, something I saw as a stepping stone to take me to amazing new heights, just the start of something wonderful. I gave myself the much-needed pep-talks, the inspiration, the quotes, jokes and everything that I would tell another person when I want them to be and do their absolute best and of course to make them believe in themselves. I was high on positive energy and vibes and I guess I wanted it so badly I tricked my mind into believing that anything I put my mind too I can do and achieve.

I remember dripping in positivity, but having a calmness over me, like having a gut feel that just say that I’ll be fine, whether I do well or not. Having conversations with myself (those where I look myself in the eye and have a total heart to heart, team talk almost) and just releasing everything to the universe. So I took my own advice, I remained calm and just did my utmost best, I mean, they do say all you have to do and give is your best, and that is what I did. I stated that whatever the outcome, it will be in my best interest, (what a way to take my own advice).

The outcome wasn’t what I had hoped for and weirdly enough I was okay with it, I just patted myself on the back and cheered myself for taking chances and putting myself out there. I was okay with things not working out the way I Hoped and anticipated it too, and I knew in that moment that bigger and better things awaits (well that’s what I usually tell others and because I really believe it). I really figured that I was okay and I knew and still know that a year or two down the line the same opportunity I missed or didn’t get, will be the same opportunity that I will turn down or have as one of many options, because what I have is wonderful and I believe this with my heart and soul.

So I kind of had a break down, almost a month afterwards, because it suddenly dawned on me that I didn’t get what I wanted so badly, that I don’t feel good enough, talented enough, what I did wrong, that I want to change me, that I still have to put so much work in myself and I don’t have the faintest clue where to start, and I just really started questioning my decisions and my next step. My next step as in will I allow this to remain just a dream, or will I keep pep-talking myself, having faith and hope, until, the doors and windows of opportunity are open so wide, that no gust of wind, tornado or anything can shut it.

I guess I realised that well, putting myself out there was really just the start, the start of wonderful ventures coming my way, the fact that the people who saw me at that opportunity that day will look back in a year or two and tell others about that day I didn’t get what I wanted, but look where I am now (you know the groupie effect, I knew her before everything). I know I made an impact and I know now just how badly I want to chase my dreams, how I need my talents to shine and be heard, spoken and written. But I am taking my own advice, my cliché pep-talks, my dreamer brain and I’m taking every day as it comes, because I know I have the ability to do amazing things and I am already busy doing so. And it is true, the more or often the No’s pour in, the quicker its shaken off and the closer the YES’s are… so I’ll just move forward, do what I do best and just keep believing in me.

P.S

It is also a year since I started my blog. Congratulations to myself on this milestone, to many more years to come, to pouring my heart, mind and soul onto this canvas, to doing something that I am so utterly proud of, to something that I love, to being the best me, cannot wait to fill this canvas for many more years to come… I am a proud blogger… JOHYPHENDENE (soon to be published writer, positive affirmations)

the worst part

“I think the worst part of it all wasn’t losing him, it was losing myself”

How many times isn’t this the exact same feeling that you experience when going through a break-up, whether it be a romantic relationship, a deeply bonded friendship, even a job or opportunity you figured was exactly what you needed and made you feel so absolutely alive, joyful and happy. When this all comes to an end, the saddest part is when you realise that losing him/her/that wasn’t the worst part, the worst part was, that you no longer recognise the face that stares back at you when you look in the mirror. You get so caught up and so lost that you forget who and what you are supposed to be.

Losing yourself in any experience is the worst thing that can happen, changing who you are for someone else, for something, for an experience to the point where who you are becomes just a mere memory of someone who you once were. Realising that all the time you were investing in that involvement, with every part you gave of yourself you gave a part that couldn’t be replaced, parts that you ended up losing and would be even more difficult to replace and mend than shattered pieces of heart, than a wondering mind craving answers, than confidence that has to be rebuilt with a very firm foundation.

What do you do when you realise that you lost who you were? The person who you were before entering that relationship, that partnership, that company? How do you start picking up the pieces of what is a reminder of who you once were, pieces that you left along the road to create what you thought was the ultimate experience. Almost like in Hansel and Gretel where the bread crumbs could transcend as pieces of who and what you are that gets scattered along the road to help you find your way back to yourself, but when you turn around all that is lost. When you realise that the road you were on to the candy coated house wasn’t all that you anticipated it to be, that all that glistens indeed aren’t all so golden? How do you get back when you don’t have the road marks to lead you back to where and who you were.

That’s the thing about realising that you actually lost who you are, that you gave so much of yourself that you gave the pieces who makes you, you, the you who are or were passionate about falling in love, about entering the exciting world of skills that were set before you. Having to get refocused and dig deep and get to know who you were before and during and who you want to be. In losing that piece/person/partnership you get to find you.

The worst part isn’t losing the other person, job or opportunity, it after all is a learning curve and it makes us who we are, and makes us realise what we want, what we will tolerate and to what lengths and extremes we will go through to keep it, and we do get over it. But how do we get over realising that the biggest part of the experience was losing who you are, what makes and made you attractive and passionate, that attracted the joy and happiness that you seek, but also the confidence that now is broken down to rubble.

Losing yourself gives you the chance to go on a journey and start to find and explore who you were, but also who you are after the experience that you went through. The worst experience makes for the best ones, makes you rebuild yourself who you are, picking up the broken rundown pieces, toughening up, standing firm in who and what you are, believing and finding new-found love and determination for your passion and what you stand for. So in losing him/her/that, you become the -no nonsense taking I fight for what I want, I won’t tolerate anything less than what I want, I won’t settle for less than I deserve, confidently, strong meticulous – you that you once were, sometimes experiencing the worst, makes way for the best to shine through.

bad life choices- really?

Being labelled as someone known for not always making the most intelligent choices when it comes to life in general or whether it be, school, career and especially love. Bad life choices being not making smart choices, allowing impulsive thoughts to be the guide and well ending up either unhappy or giving to much of the self for others.

I like to think that there is no such thing as a bad life choice. Yes, the decision you make, might lead you off track and not where you need and want to be, but how you deal with the consequences of that decision, determines whether it was indeed a bad life choice. Something I’ve learnt is to never have regrets, the decision you made was because you wanted that specific thing at the specific time. So how can it be a bad life choice? Well it can be bad, because the specific field of studies wasn’t what you envisioned, the career you thought you wanted ended up being the thing you despise most and that love interest, well looking at how things ended, it was Bad. I still ask, do you have regrets? And by regrets I do not mean all the negativity that came with it, the unhappy, sad times, because with any choice that’s well, things that can happen. A bad life choice could possibly turn into the best life choice.
It’s about learning, learning who and what you are, how that unhappy feeling could turn into unexpected happiness, how that field of studying can give you a background or edge when you are finally in the field that you want to be. The bad life choice in a career could be the stepping stone to amazing things you couldn’t ever have imagined. It’s all about perception, how you choose to view the choices made and what you take as a lesson from it all.

Bad life choices, it kind of feels like a bad case of Deja vu, as if history is repeating itself, but also life giving you a second chance to get back on the path where you are supposed to be, where you need to be, where you should be. Sometimes we get so used to the negativity that accompanies a choice that when that same choice brings so much positivity, it feels wrong, almost as if it cannot be, that it isn’t supposed to happen and that’s when we make actual bad life choices. Giving up on something new, something unknown, something that scares us, because we view that as a bad life choice and we base that on past negative experienced brought on by a choice made. So when that feeling of Déjà vu hits, as if you have literally experienced the same thing, the actors in the roles just differ, scenario’s may differ, but in your heart you know, that bad life choice prepared you for the good life choice that you are bound to make. Making a good life choice happens when all experiences of the so called bad life choices have been viewed in a positive way, where the lessons learnt are being applied to new decisions and ventures.

Bad life choices- there’s no such thing.
The bad makes way for the good, almost like the storm before the rainbow. The bad choices you kick yourself for, what have you learnt and when the opportunity arises what would you do? Make a good life choice, because the bad choice prepared you, equipped you to recognise the good when it happens. Being thrown of path isn’t all that bad, just see the positive and the lessons and just be sure that the negativity of the past don’t jeopardise the present.

Bad life choices, there is no such thing, it makes you who you are, leads you to the good ones ;).