The Grand Gesture

Maybe we are all waiting for the wonderful grand gesture of love. You know, the part where the guy rocks up on his modern day White horse, sweeps you off your feet and proclaims to the whole entire world that he is totally and utterly head over heels for you. We should just remember that the White horse can be anything ranging from the most expensive car to a bicycle and by telling the whole world it can be anything from Jumping on Oprah’s couch to telling his best friend that he is in love.

So many times we are fixated on the idea of what the person should look like, be like, and act like, as we create an image in our minds of the package we think it should be presented in. This is a good and bad thing; creating an image or idea of what you want and need, sets the boundaries for what you are willing to settle for or go for, what you are willing to compromise on or what you would rather be confrontational about. It gives us way, to be a little selfish about what we think we need and deserve. It can be a bad thing, when that opportunity arises we sometimes are still to fixated on the image in our minds that we miss the different package that it is presented in, we look for various excuses just to justify why that isn’t something that we would want.

We also are supposed to know ourselves the best, so even if the Modern day Prince charming comes in and decides to rock your whole entire world, we have to be ready in some kind of way, we have to know that we aren’t just going for it because of loneliness, that we aren’t just infatuated by the idea that we created, presented in the present moment. So if we know ourselves the best, we know what we are willing to try and what not, we have this inherent ability to know what sits right with our soul. We start to get to know what makes our souls feel good, the kind of vibe and energy that we need to uplift us and not pull us down, the kind of energy that we exchange, the same vibes you give, the same you get.

Even if Prince Charming rocks up and makes the grand gesture, by writing a love letter and posting it and asks you to be his, if it doesn’t feel right, no amount of grand gesture will make it feel differently. This doesn’t mean that love isn’t there, it is just misplaced, you can either go ahead with it because of the gesture, but will that be the only reason? Because the Grand gesture was everything that you have been hoping for. It is also a matter of feeling happy with yourself and actually feeling ready for love to enter your life, being in a space so content that it opens your eyes to actually see in what weird packages the Modern day Prince comes in.

Thing is when that grand gesture is presented, if you aren’t in the right space of mind or seeking it for all the wrong reasons, it will just be an empty gesture and have you questioning when something so amazing will happen to you. If you are in the right space of mind, not even remotely seeking, basically saying fuck it to everything, when that grand gesture, the honesty reveals itself to you, I guess giving it a shot is the only way to go. I mean after all you have nothing to lose, but if the fear of losing your heart takes over the opportunity presented, we’ll that is supposed to be answer enough. If the gesture surprises you, and even if you know that the only thing you have to lose is your heart, and you are willing to lose it, well then congratulations, the energy and vibes are right and the gesture sits well with your soul.

you and me

You

Me

The sound of your voice

The taste of your lips

The touch of your fingertips

You

Me

The look in your eyes

The scent of your cologne

The feel of your skin

You

Me

The thoughts in my head

The words escaping my mouth

All is just you, you, you

You

Me

I read you like a book

Cover to cover

Each chapter

Slowly and thoroughly

Over and over

Studying every word

Getting to know you

Word by word

Me

You

You just get a preview

A review of what is

A sentence rather than a chapter

A foreword rather than the book

Enough to intrigue

A little at a time

To touch the senses

Tickle the taste buds

To keep you reading

Me

You

Mental connection

Physical attraction

Emotional bond

Spiritual link

A prologue

Monologue

Epilogue

You

Me

Lips touching

Cover to cover

Foreword to conclusion

Temporary or permanent

Sentence

Chapter

You and me

You and me

You and me

happy for another

I have this cover photo on twitter and it reads “be happy for other people’s successes and at the right time God will bring your dreams to pass”. I have been thinking about this a lot, especially because I saw an advertisement the other day, playing on the underlying jealousy while pulling a sweet face to show ones happiness for another.

It is difficult to be happy for others, when they are in a position that you crave to be in, whether it be, their dream job, new car, a successful relationship or just being happy with who they are. We tend to question, why them? I wonder how they pulled that off. I wonder who they stepped on to get there. I wonder where they got the money from. And one that I believe anyone has asked once, whether you want to admit it or not, why them and not me?

We focus too much on why others accomplished their successes, instead of taking the time to be happy for them and actually understanding how they eventually got that far. It’s actually so easy to hate on what others accomplish when you are struggling to get to where you want to be, to have your desires fulfilled, and when you have no idea how and when you will be in that ideal situation.

Instead of questioning others successes, we should question their work ethic, their desire to work for what they want, to appreciate the fact that they got a big break, that they took a chance (that leap of faith), the fact that they never gave up even when all the odds were against them. We don’t know how many sacrifices were made, how many late night study sessions had to be put in just to get the degree that empowered them to open the door to get their foot inside. We don’t know how many rejection letters and phone calls were received after interviews that went beyond expectation, but still having to hear, you are under qualified/over qualified/ not what they are looking for. Yes there are people who get lucky breaks, like models being discovered in the most random places, but that doesn’t mean they have it easy just because they got discovered, that’s when the real work starts. The castings, the rejection, the working hard to maintain the image to make it in a very competitive field. How many times weren’t quitting a part of their vocabulary, where the pressure seemed to get to much, when giving up seemed like the only option, because things weren’t happening the way they wanted, the way they were planning and they weren’t getting what they needed.

Yes those people are talented, but they also have an inherent drive and what others don’t know, they have a struggle within, a light, a voice that says “no, don’t quit, not yet, just push through”, a voice that they use as a pep talk, to take and get them through the times when all the doors are being shut in their faces, when the only hope they have is that things will get better and they will reach the goals and dreams that they set out for themselves. Most times these people are the ones who has to motivate themselves, who are the only ones believing in their dreams, their desires and their passion, the only people who keeps hoping and having faith that, that window will open soon. These people are the same ones who stay humble, who remember how it felt when they wanted to give and will always think what would have happened if they didn’t stick it out, if they gave up hope and their hard work and settled for what was right in front of them instead of pushing forward day by day.

So yes, sometimes people get lucky, get lucky breaks, get noticed and have people to mentor them, get shoved in an already open door, but then it is up to them to put in the work and chase the goal that they set out for themselves, to allow the talent within to grow to their best ability.

So the next time you question the successes of another, be happy for what they have achieved, be happy that they listened to the voice that said don’t give up, be happy that they are in a position where they have dreamed to be, be happy that they aren’t afraid to take a leap and that they inspire us to be like them, and to chase our dreams and passions no matter how far fetched it may seem.

Mothers to daughters, Daughters to mothers

“A daughter is just a little girl who grows up to be her mothers best friend” – unknown (to me)

Remembering how you used to fix my hair, ribbons in a rainbow of colours, rollers in different sizes, pompoms always matching an outfit.
Remembering how walking in your shoes felt like the best thing in the world, your clothes the sweetest smell, no flower could compare. Remembering my cheeks getting pinched so it could be rosy just like yours, the shade of red ending up on my teeth instead of my lips, u just laughing. Remembering how your beauty mesmerised me, no other could or would ever compare.
Remembering how licking the icing bowl was the best part of my weekends, telling everyone how the kitchen was your playground.
Remembering the magic you created with fabric, the sound of your foot heading the pedal on the sewing machine still lingers in my mind. Remembering how proud you were whether it was a new friend that was made or stealing the heart with an unexpected childlike innocence. Remembering the simple conversations of a mother to her daughter, understanding only what needs to be, but the magic of planting a seed that would grow with the mind. Remembering that you were always my Hero, the one I wanted to be like, look like, smell like, talk like, laugh like. Remembering how you kissed my head when u tucked me in, which you still do.

I realise the roles reversed, shifted, changed, growing as we grew.

The way your hair glistens in the sun, the silver streaks a natural highlight of coming of age. The way my hands finds your head, fixing your hair the way you used to do mine. The way our closets are entwined, stealing a scarf here, borrowing a jacket there, taking a pursue for yourself, kidnapping a necklace. The way you allow me to walk with you in my own shoes, guiding me on my path, my way, my life. The way the shades of lips turns from reds to pinks, to nudes to glossy, your face becomes my canvas, the familiar I also want to look like that, comes from a different voice. Exploring your face, seeing the lines, telling a story of the life hidden behind that face. The way our smiles are alike, our voices, our laughs, the closeness of our eyes when we laugh, the touch of our hands, the abilities that we have. The way I’m turning into the beauty that is you.
The way the kitchen is my playground, how you are the first to taste, the first to boast, the first to help and take in the aroma’s escaping the place of Love.
The way you see scattered pieces of paper, keeping, reading, wanting me to be the ink for a dried out pen. The way you see in me what I cannot see myself, how the sounds of a machine I type on lingers in your ears. The way I am proud of every heart and mind that you touch, feeding the birds every morning, giving me a flower just because you Love me. The way your being speaks to those around you, your energy, the person I strive to be most like.
The way its now the conversations of a daughter to her mother, the seed being planted now a mind full of ideas, thoughts and questions. The honesty you bring in every answer, the reasons given being more apparent and eye opening that could have been thought. The truths that I can share with you, The way you just look at me with Love, with no judgement, just Love.
The way you say that you want to be like me in certain ways, but then we realise that we are the same. The way you moulded this girl into a woman, the way she speaks, walks, laughs, cries, loves, follows, beliefs. The way you moulded her, has you written all over her. The way I kiss you on your forehead and take care of you.

I realise the roles reversed, shifted, changed, growing as we grew.

Generation to generation. Mother to daughter, Daughter to mother, Best Friend to Best Friend. The Bond we have can never be shaken, tested, but not be broken. I love because of you, I am because of you. Our relationship questioned by many, admired by many, desired by many. Someday this relationship will continue in my generation, with my daughter, my new best friend…

P.s I love you so much, God really was having the beste when he blessed me with you. He planned this all, our good days and our bad, but he knew the role he had for you in my life, wouldn’t be able to be better fulfilled by any other. You truly are my best friend, my inspiration, my rock, my biggest fan, supporter. Still The one I want to be like. ❤