beard burn

As the beard burns cover my face, I still feel the touch of your lips pressed against mine. The way your lips touched mine, slowly, softly, sultry. Lips moving with no words escaping but yet the warmest way of communication.

As the beard burns leave a sensitive tingling on sensitive skin, the same way it leaves a burning memory within the pumping heart and stubbly overthinking brain. A burn that scars the delicate protected heart, a burn so deep, wanting to free the sheltered emotions so deep within, all just because of a kiss.

As I rub the tingling skin, I slip back into that moment, into that moment where the taste of a long lost emotion turned up. Memories awakened by the soft touch unlocking feelings hidden away in the back of the mind, in the box marked “open when ready”. Slipping into a trance state in embracing the moment that is now, enjoying the wordless communication as it elevates dormant emotions.

As the beard burns, burns the soft cheeks, small chin, it burns a memory so deep filled with thoughts, desires and yearnings that could have only sprung from a Middle school crush. As it burns, it burns new found impressions, new found cravings, new found emotions all unlocked by the touch of lips.

As the beard burns are the only evidence of locked lips whispering nothings, locked lips saying what can’t be said, of a longing or lust only expressible by a speechless moment where words wouldn’t suffice.
As the beard burns heal, the moment gets relived and stored in a brain filled with what if’s, maybe’s and I wonders. What if it is more than just a kiss? Maybe there is supposed to be more? I wonder if and when it will happen again?
As the beard burns is a reminder of a moment stuck in an overthinking mind, the soft, slowly, sultry touch of his lips is imprinted like a tattoo on the full lips that is mine.

chasing pavements- dreaming

What do you dream of doing? What is your passion? What dream drives you that no matter how, even though you don’t have the faintest clue how you are going to achieve that, but there is just something inside that assures you that you can and will achieve it.

I always associate movie/song quotes with what goes on in my life at a specific point in time, or I adapt it to suit my situation or see the similarities in it. there is this scene in Runner Runner where the FBI is investigating the “gambling ring” and this one guy wants out, he says he is getting a job in Wall Street and he says “so I’ll be rich, not super rich, I can deal”. So when do you decide that you can deal, that settling for what is set before you and giving up on the idea that you created in your mind,- because hey, dreams don’t put food on the table, dreams don’t put a roof over your head, so let go of the dream, store it in the back of your mind with all the rest of the childhood dreams that seemed like something out of a storybook- because it’s time to deal with what is right in front, it’s time to know that dreams aren’t reality and right now, “reality” wants and needs to be faced.

So when do you stop chasing pavements? When do you realise that this inherent dream might be all it will ever be. Not just because it is just a dream, but because you have no idea how to go about telling your dream, or you don’t even have a clue how to start chasing that pavement. At every step you get encouraged to chase a dream a little more attainable, a dream a little more realistic, a dream a little more mainstream. But how do you go about chasing that pavement? This isn’t a fairy tale so the fairy Godmother isn’t here to just miraculously wave her magic wand or Genie to grant your wish and make your dream come true. You need your own magic wand, which is obviously the wonderful degree/diploma, wave that around to get a foot in the door that takes you closer to your dream. If you don’t have that, well basically you are screwed, because you have to work ten times harder, because that piece of paper which in actual sense you paid for, the lack of it, limits the chances you get, the doors that open, because that magic wand is a step in the way of the dream. A dream after all is just as real as you want it to be, dreaming and not putting action to it will be just like chasing a pavement that leads nowhere. Putting action into it and praying for the fairy Godmother or Genie to discover you, to open that window to or give you that opportunity to show what is within you, to give you a chance to swing around the wand that is broken and taped up. A chance to take a step towards the goal that step by step makes the dream a reality.

So the dream is only as real as you want it to be, as real as how much you want it, as real as the effort you put in, as real as the pavements you chase to get to it, because stopping is not even remotely a choice. So maybe the dream has to be put on hold, stored in the back of the mind, because reality wants that. so that dream has to be kept on hold whilst reality happens, while you store your broken wand and invest in a new one, with the hopes that the wonderful new wand will open doors that will someday open a door to the dream of the pavement that is your goal. As long as the dream keeps persisting chasing the pavement is a reality of keeping the broken patched up wand, swinging and waving it until that Genie appears; a reality just as real as getting a new wand when you stop chasing the pavement that might lead nowhere and settle for the pavement that is presented.

I’ll wave the broken patched up wand, chasing the pavement that leads to my dreams and Wait for the Genie to open the window and make dreams a reality.

happy for another

I have this cover photo on twitter and it reads “be happy for other people’s successes and at the right time God will bring your dreams to pass”. I have been thinking about this a lot, especially because I saw an advertisement the other day, playing on the underlying jealousy while pulling a sweet face to show ones happiness for another.

It is difficult to be happy for others, when they are in a position that you crave to be in, whether it be, their dream job, new car, a successful relationship or just being happy with who they are. We tend to question, why them? I wonder how they pulled that off. I wonder who they stepped on to get there. I wonder where they got the money from. And one that I believe anyone has asked once, whether you want to admit it or not, why them and not me?

We focus too much on why others accomplished their successes, instead of taking the time to be happy for them and actually understanding how they eventually got that far. It’s actually so easy to hate on what others accomplish when you are struggling to get to where you want to be, to have your desires fulfilled, and when you have no idea how and when you will be in that ideal situation.

Instead of questioning others successes, we should question their work ethic, their desire to work for what they want, to appreciate the fact that they got a big break, that they took a chance (that leap of faith), the fact that they never gave up even when all the odds were against them. We don’t know how many sacrifices were made, how many late night study sessions had to be put in just to get the degree that empowered them to open the door to get their foot inside. We don’t know how many rejection letters and phone calls were received after interviews that went beyond expectation, but still having to hear, you are under qualified/over qualified/ not what they are looking for. Yes there are people who get lucky breaks, like models being discovered in the most random places, but that doesn’t mean they have it easy just because they got discovered, that’s when the real work starts. The castings, the rejection, the working hard to maintain the image to make it in a very competitive field. How many times weren’t quitting a part of their vocabulary, where the pressure seemed to get to much, when giving up seemed like the only option, because things weren’t happening the way they wanted, the way they were planning and they weren’t getting what they needed.

Yes those people are talented, but they also have an inherent drive and what others don’t know, they have a struggle within, a light, a voice that says “no, don’t quit, not yet, just push through”, a voice that they use as a pep talk, to take and get them through the times when all the doors are being shut in their faces, when the only hope they have is that things will get better and they will reach the goals and dreams that they set out for themselves. Most times these people are the ones who has to motivate themselves, who are the only ones believing in their dreams, their desires and their passion, the only people who keeps hoping and having faith that, that window will open soon. These people are the same ones who stay humble, who remember how it felt when they wanted to give and will always think what would have happened if they didn’t stick it out, if they gave up hope and their hard work and settled for what was right in front of them instead of pushing forward day by day.

So yes, sometimes people get lucky, get lucky breaks, get noticed and have people to mentor them, get shoved in an already open door, but then it is up to them to put in the work and chase the goal that they set out for themselves, to allow the talent within to grow to their best ability.

So the next time you question the successes of another, be happy for what they have achieved, be happy that they listened to the voice that said don’t give up, be happy that they are in a position where they have dreamed to be, be happy that they aren’t afraid to take a leap and that they inspire us to be like them, and to chase our dreams and passions no matter how far fetched it may seem.