new journeys

 

The past few months has seriously been a rollercoaster of endings and new beginnings and just navigating through it all, is a rollercoaster ride all on its own.

 

Remember the times when it was all about 16th birthday parties, confirmations to 18th birthday parties, matric dances, after parties, it kind of seem like a lifetime ago (well it is basically a decade ago). This was such an amazing time, also a time that the parties you attended were with friends who now 10 years on are still such a big part of your life. And then there was the infamous 21st (coming of age) party season, wow now that is basically a whole chapter, nope, a book on its own. All of a sudden the years just seem to pass and all of a sudden it is all about engagement parties, weddings, baby showers and welcoming new arrivals. I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that my own 21st was 6years ago (when did I get this old) and here I am finding myself in a new season, a season that I need a new compass, map, GPS and throwing in Suri would be an amazing bonus.

The past few months I had the honour (and I seriously do believe it is one), to witness a couple of my friends start a wonderful new chapter in their lives, the journey of motherhood. It is always wonderful and astonishing to see a woman carrying something so spectacular in her womb, but the experience becomes more profound the closer the people are to you (or that is at least what I have experienced). And no I am not broody, lol okay maybe a tiny teeny little bit, but the miracle of life and to see what a beautiful change it brings in the lives of people who you have journeyed with for years is totally exceptional.

 

I think it is absolutely humbling to be a part of a journey like this, witnessing how your friends navigated the crazy teenage years, all the ups and major downs, the happiness and sad times and then just to see this extraordinary glow about them, it radiates warmth, comfort, happiness, joy and unconditional love. A glow that makes you so absolutely excited and overjoyed to be sharing with them. When we are younger we tend to imagine and daydream what it would be like when someone in the circle would were to have a baby, what attributes they would inherit from which parent and just how it would be. And then years later you find yourself in this position and reality is far more remarkable that could have been anticipated. It is seriously one of those instances where you realise that a greater force is responsible for all of this beauty, for all of this love, for all of this wonder.

 

New beginnings are usually so scary, because you don’t know what to expect, you don’t know how to act and react, how to feel and what not to feel, it is almost like searching for the light switch in the pitch black dark and only be relying on touch and instinct. What makes new beginnings worth it is when you have support of amazing people around you, who willingly, lovingly, selflessly walk this journey with you.

I cannot wait for the day when I too experience this new beginning when that little peanut is growing in my womb, but at this moment I am so absolutely completely content and in awe of the mothers that my friends have become, it seriously is life changing, it is that beautiful thing that you would want everyone to know that you are witnessing.

So it may have started with our 16th parties and matric dances, but now it slips over to the new generation, the mini me’s, and to be completely honest this is a wonderful journey to be a part of, to see how people who have been part of your life for such a long time, start a new phase, a new journey, a new chapter and that you are there to walk this journey with them, to be a part of it all, and someday tell that little one what a joy they have brought to our lives.

 

lifelong- 5 going on 25

 

The pre-school ones, the primary school ones, the high school ones, the varsity ones and the happily after ones…

The care free, give me your colouring pencil-look at my new barbie-i got new books- kind of life. Meeting 5 years olds that you actually bond with… Life is just so amazing, fairy tales are all so real, being happy is all you know…

Primary school – maths, netball games, spice girls (I want 2 be posh spice), friendships turn to organising your own play dates, disliking others, early onset of puberty, fairy tales becoming less real.

 High school- maths becomes a headache, crushing and dating priority, new looks, friendships- early onset of the BRO-CODE- motivating, I’ll always be there for you kind of vibe.

Varsity- I’m away from home, life is happening, I am going to live my dream, boyfriends, special moments, encourage me with my ambitions, break-ups, but still I got this…

 Still there are those who go with you through everything. That insecure 5 year old stepping into what she thinks in her adolescent mind as big school and life. Learning what sharing is, being the eldest and grown in a world filled with the youngest, the babies, but we own this our dreams are a grasp away. A 7 year old turning into a pre-teen, learning about the “proper” birds and bees, disliking boys to- thinking I want to kiss that cutie. Excited about high school and will I still be popular or the girl/guy that no one takes note off. A 14 year, high school is going to be my life, BFF’s- my friends got my back, I own this, popularity, well I have to deal with the cards I’ve been dealt with. Maths-what’s that, inspired by the 5year old dream, life suddenly just spirals, dreams, priority-career choice, relationships- but I want to marry him or I haven’t found him yet. Varsity – I’m grown, life is going my way, career within reach, just made entrance for exams, friends there from party till the sun comes up till the study for my final-crunch time, and I am going to fail- exams. He broke up with me, to the single- I think I found the love of my life type.

 

Friends grow with us and they also grow separately from us, but that doesn’t mean we are not friends anymore or will always be. Life happens, but friendships also happens. Experiencing that first crush to the devastating heartache, the first passed test to the terribly failed ones. The bond that was formed that couldn’t be broken by years of torment, because somewhere that friendship meant something. So just like the years roll on past, friendships evolves, develops and can just stop or end in the nick of time. Somewhere that friendship that you found in pre-school or even at varsity will last a lifetime, whether it be reliving old memories or creating new ones. It means a lot, so much, the lifetime that feels like a moment and the moment that feels like a lifetime. Being that one who coloured in the picture of a dream being just that, a dream, to being the one that plays a part in the fairy tale of a 5year old going on 25 and being that colour that completes it.

 

 So just because our friendships aren’t the –we met at 5years old- bff forever, doesn’t mean it’s any less special. Growing and learning separately to ultimately be the- I’ve known you ever friend- being the friend you’ve always wanted, well that friendship. Be the colour in a colourless colouring book, the shoulder in a shoulder less world, the smile on an unhappy face and the spirit that everyone wants to share. Whether from forever or an instant, nothing speaks louder than the bang of a bigger love of a friendship, lifelong or instantaneously.