Most times we don’t know how or where to begin…When this happens we usually get encouraged to just begin, but the question then still remains, where or how?
So how do we begin? Do we vigorously start planning (when I say planning, I mean designing a plan so strong that you anticipate what ifs and the maybes, the positives and negatives, basically crossing the t’s and dotting the I’s)? The problem with planning so dynamically is that in most cases we start to get lost in the planning and preparation, we start overthinking, which leads to over worrying, which then leads to negative thoughts about failure, with the effect that all the planning remains exactly that, planning. So the how to begin or where to begin gets lost in the planning. It is a good thing to plan properly, but it isn’t good to get so lost in the planning and the negatives because that causes one to remain fixated on that and distracts from ultimately beginning.
So it is the 3rd Month and apparently January and February were just trial months…you know, the preparation months, the months where the planning was done, the months when the t’s were crossed and the I’s dotted. The months where anxiety levels flared up, where you started questioning your life choices and decisions previously made. The months where you decided to go for it coz if you don’t go for it, when will you, but then you didn’t… The months where you decided to actually attempt this whole Adulting thing and how to go about it, even though this Adulting concept that they talk about seems like a foreign notion. Anyway so the months drag by when you are still busy planning -when you find yourself it seems like you haven’t done anything -then my dear life either smiles upon you or bitch slaps you from nowhere and Life happens.
They (I still don’t know who this they are) say life happens when we are busy making plans, and from what I have gathered these past two months is that life indeed happens when we are busy making other plans. Sometimes we plan all that we want to do, all that we need to do and just taking a leap and just going for it doesn’t seem like the right thing to do. Well these past two months that I have been busy planning and strategizing, revelling in the negatives and basking in the positives, life was like “I’m happening”… When this happens we don’t normally know how to respond to it, is it a good thing or is it a bad thing, or do we just go with it, because when life happens the only thing to do is to go with it and see where it takes you.
Even this Adulting thing basically just happened, and no matter how you prepare and think how it will happen, it usually happens in a different way. It happens the way it is supposed to, it happens when it is supposed to and how it is supposed to. The thing is no matter what you are planning, what you are hoping to achieve and where you want to go, the trick is to remain present. By being present wonderful things happen. You start being more aware, aware of who you are, aware of what you actually want and need, aware of what surrounds you, aware of life that happens while you are making plans. By being present you make space for things to enter your life, the gift that life wants to give you. Whether it be a love that you might have overlooked, or a love that you needed to let go of ages ago, it may be the umpteenth job interview that went amazing but again you didn’t get it, or a job or career change that you couldn’t have anticipated in your wildest imagination. Whether you fell down and just had to re-asses your situation at hand, or got pulled up when you were down in the dumps and felt like nothing ever works out. Or when this whole Adulting business seems to grab you by surprise and you take to it like a fish to water. It is all about perceptions and how we choose to see things and handle situations.
So maybe January and February were trial months, the planning, preparation, overthinking, over worrying…It brought with it the ability to be present, the gift to appreciate and be grateful for whatever situation you might have found yourself in. Like a very wise woman once said “’n drol kan nie soos ‘n rol draad oprol nie, erens moet mens se hol dit ook afknyp,”, directly translated it means – A turd cannot look like a rolled up thread, somewhere ones arse must pinch it off. So it basically means that shit times won’t last, somewhere and somehow it will and must end.
So whether you got thrown into the deep end and decided to swim and go for glory, whether you treaded water for a while and just got used to the flow, or whether you sank. The important thing is the lessons that you take from every occurrence, what you can do differently, what you can improve on and what you need to do in the present moment. And whether you unexpectedly surprised yourself by Adulting and it is just a natural flow, just go with it, because things truly happen the way it is supposed to, when it is supposed to and how it is supposed to. Just remember the lesson we take from trial runs prepare us for getting thrown into the deep end, so we can swim our way to Glory.
johyphendene 