Haters- No more

We are all familiar with the term “Hater”? We all have our own term for what a Hater entails, but the common detail or description is usually “someone or people who dislike you for what you are, what you have or generally just dislike you for no reason”. (This is my own description or what I like to think a hater is). Okay, so maybe saying that someone dislikes you for no apparent reason seems a bit “out-there”, but also remember that when we dislike someone, either that person reflects a quality of ourselves that we aren’t willing to deal with, that person doesn’t share the same energy an vibe as you, or because whatever that person has (that which we see from the outside) just makes us a bit jealous. So yes, we do get haters, but what about those people who constantly encourage us from the side-line, even those we are not aware off, who continuously without our knowledge, roots and cheers for us, because they see the spectacularly wonderful qualities in us, and want us to do great, literally in every sense of the word.

 

So let’s just be honest, most times we are so fixated with what the “Haters” say and that is motivation for us to work harder, do better and reach our goals and in the end to lift our middle fingers and tell them to suck it at the end of the day. But have you ever wondered how many people out there is exactly the opposite of the haters? You know the kind of people who thrives of your energy, the people who shares your vibe, the people who know what you are capable of, the people who wants you to flourish in every aspect of your life, the people who prayers for you, the people who isn’t all that vocal, but the people who isn’t just waiting for that moment when you succeed to start supporting you. there are actually people out there who are the silent partners along your journey, those who want to see you make good of your qualities, those who believe in you and what you are capable of, those who see an endless amount of talent within you, those who see you struggle and would rather pray for you than rejoice in your scuffles.

 

We forget about the people in our corner and it is not that we do it intentionally, but we do it out of habit. Yes, habit, because how many times have you wanted to better because someone said you weren’t good enough and will never be better than you are now- and that could have been 5, 10 or 20 years ago-.  We were and are conditioned to want to prove the nay sayers wrong, we want to take all that negative energy and turn it into positive motivation for us to do well and prove all the haters wrong. And in cases where we have people who believe in us, they aren’t always all that vocal about it (where the negativity filled people always have the most to say about everything); it is not that they don’t want to shower us with beautiful testimonies, but we tend to want to question why people value us so much, we want to know why and how they see such amazement and wonder in is, when we can’t see it ourselves, yet we don’t usually question when people seem to “hating”.

 

The past few months I have been astonished, I have been caught by surprise, I have been overwhelmed, but all in the good kind of way… I have learned to let go of negativity, because the moment you allow it to enter your vibrational space, you start doing things from a negatively fuelled idea. There is nothing wrong with that, but just think about it for a second; someone has been hating on you and just said that you couldn’t do a specific thing, so what do you do? You take that negativity and try to make it positive, where your fuel to achieve the specific goal in question is motivated by all the negativity, but have you ever thought that in order for you to succeed, you actually have to go back to the place of negativity, the place of fear and distrust, to get the needed motivation. Then there are those who believe in us and want to see us on that pinnacle, so often when they tell us how they see us and what we will still achieve, we shrug it off and find ways to not want to believe it. But the way those words makes us feel, the way it shakes up our vibrational positivity, it feels sincere, it feels right and it is just affirmations that catapults us to a happy place. Have you ever tried to find motivation from words of affirmation, this takes you to a place of Love, a place of positivity, and when you need that urge of inspiration you find it in a place filled with high vibrations of energy, the actual kind that you need.

 

What I am trying to say is, the people who are in your corner, the people who support you, the people who genuinely want to see you do good outweighs those who seem to be “hating”. Just because your supporters don’t vocalize it to you, does not mean that they aren’t there. We get to fixated on that which we see and experience, like the constant dealings with the negativity of the haters; there is an idiom in Afrikaans that says it perfectly “lee blikke maak die meeste geraas”, what it means is empty vessels tend to make the most noise and to tie it in- people who usually don’t have anything good to say tend to be those we speak and act the most.

 

I just know as I am running my race, there are people who run with me, people who encourages me, people who sends up prayers and positive affirmations, people who see me fall, helps me up and tell me to take it one step at a time. These are the people I want at the finish line, these are the people who are making me achieve my dreams and goals from a place of love, from a place of gratitude, from a place of happiness, these are the people, who I do it for. I don’t do it to prove the haters wrong, I do it for my team, for my supporters, for those who believe in me.

 

Do You

 

Have you ever done something for yourself? You know the kind of thing where your only concern is what you think and how it affects you (most probably, okay always a positive). How many times have you done things not because you actually want or desire too, but because you do it for the benefit of someone else; for someone else’s advantage, for their acceptance, to please them, because you think you do what is expected of you. So when are you going to start doing something for yourself? You know, for your benefit, for your acceptance, something you can proudly pat yourself on the back for, because you did it for yourself, for nobody else and it makes you ecstatically happy when you do so.

 

I actually like the saying “Do you Boo-Boo, Do you”, you know why? Because the moment you start to do you, doing what makes you happy, you instantaneously become a happier better version of yourself. The moment you start pleasing yourself and your desires, everything else literally just falls into place. When you do things that makes you happy, it starts to show in your life, you radiate happiness, joy and peace, because you fulfil your needs and wants, you make your heart happy, you do what is right for your body, mind and soul.

This is where self-acceptance comes into play, you want to know why? So many times we want the acceptance and acknowledgement from those around us, that we not only forget and lose ourselves in the process, but we are so fixated on the opinions and approval of others that we will do whatever it takes to get accepted. This is where you do things to please others, like going to the gym because someone said they will like you more if you lost weight or joining some or other social group because everyone is doing it and you know that you hate every waking moment of it (But u know u want to be part of the “cool kids”).

So when do you decide to do things for yourself? And why do you decide that in the first place? Well as soon as you realise that the only approval you need is that from within and of yourself, well then you start doing it. I remember Khloe Kardashian once said, that the moment she started her healthy lifestyle change journey, there were people who said they didn’t like the new her and she looked better when she was a bit bigger; she just said she realised that she was doing this for herself and if she wasn’t happy and confident in who she was, all the opinions and comments would have made her doubt what she is doing and would make her do things to please others. How beautiful and profound is this though? When you start doing things because it makes you feel good, because it is what moves you, what thrills you and just resonates with the vibrations of your soul, this is self-acceptance.

 

It is so difficult to motivate yourself when you have to do things you don’t necessarily want too and especially when you do it for the benefit of others; but the moment you do things for yourself you know it makes your heart smile and your mind glow, and finding ways to motivate yourself becomes second nature, it becomes so natural like breathing. When you realise that you need the acceptance of yourself and do what makes you happy, those whose opinions and acceptance you once thought was such a vital and crucial part of who you are, just fades. When you Do you, you attract those who accept you for who you are and loves every part of who you are, especially because you radiate self-acceptance, self-love and you are more than comfortable with who and what you are, because after all, you are Doing you Boo-Boo.