Leap down the Rabbit Hole- Part 2

 

As she wandered down the path, still high on all that has happened, she gets lost in herself, and she gets lost in her mind, trying to make sense of it all. She didn’t know what she had expected as she was falling down the rabbit hole, but whatever she might have expected was not even remotely close to what she was busy experiencing. As she gazes up at the sky and down at the ground, it is as if the sky is the brightest shade of blue that she has ever seen, as if the clouds were puffs of candyfloss floating in a beautiful piece of art, the grass tickled her feet and made her giggle like she hasn’t giggled in the longest time and as she kept walking every step her giggles turned into laughs, the laughs that came from within her soul and heart, turning into a song of happiness.

 

What she didn’t realise is, that time wasn’t a concept in the wonderland that she finds herself in. first, time seems to go by so quickly and then all of a sudden it just slows down, it slows downs as if everything is put into slow motion. She is usually so used to wanting things to happen fast and the way that she wants it to happen, this wonderland forces her to be present, it asks of her to feel, experience and embrace all the different types of thoughts and emotions that engulfs her as she steps-steps her way through this new place. She regularly finds herself lost in her own mind, lost in thought, lost in scenario’s that she creates, trying to figure things out, trying to be in control. And here she is learning patience, as the candyfloss clouds floats by effortlessly, as the grass pricks her feet and the sound of the wondrous surroundings just flows through every part of her being, like the veins through her body. For a minute when time seemed to pass ever so slowly, she just wanted to tap her heels together and wanted to go home, and she realised that she wasn’t Dorothy and the only way out is through. Here she becomes present, here she is starting to learn patience, here she is just being, being without knowing how or why, here she lost in a wonderland of new, weird and wonderful things and yet this is where she feels most at home, this is where she feels herself.

 

As she gets lost in thought being mesmerized by all the wonder that surrounds her, she loses track of time, she remembers the eyes that met hers when she first landed on the grass while coming to her senses, the eyes that she somehow got lost in, the eyes that glistened with a familiarity that she knew was one of the reasons she found herself in this land of wonder. It is funny, because somehow months had gone past and she found herself finding and exploring new avenues within this new experience, but it didn’t even feel all that long. Was it because she wasn’t living in her head anymore, was it because she was present in everything that she was going through, was it that for the first time she decided to just let go, to trust, to have faith, like when she took that leap down the hole.

 

She somehow found that she had a new sense of adventure within her, she found that she was more courageous than she has ever been before, she found that she was more confident, she found that she had this immense craving to try and want to do different things that scared her, things that has failed in the past, things that she would make her grow mentally, spiritually and physically. She had this new found allure to her, she always had it, but it is only know that it seemed to bloom, like a butterfly finally emerging from its cocoon. As she became more aware of her surroundings that is when she started to blossom, almost as if her embracing her surroundings, seemed to transcend and elevate the vibes and energy that she was embodying and sending out.

 

As the path before her seems long and strenuous, especially because she isn’t aware of what is around the bend or even further down the path, because there is no roadmaps, no road signs; the only signs and way of navigation she has, is the stars that light up the night sky like a bunch of fireflies against a dark canvas, the butterflies leading her to the most beautiful flowers, the little pieces of cakes with the words eat me and the bottles saying drink me, and this was all the signs she needed, because she was present. She listened to the voice of the wind, to the chirp of the birds, she listened to her heart, to her soul, as she followed the path, step by step.

She is in a whole new world, a world that she has dreamed off, a world where magic is at her fingertips, a world where those eyes that she gazed into is her compass, her guide, her true north, a world where endless possibilities awaits her, a world where she is a familiar stranger; this is her hole after all, the hole she leapt down.

rollercoaster

Adrenalin pumping, heart racing, an awkward giggle just to hide the nervous laughter that actually wants to escape. Breathing at a rapid pace trying to slowdown the excited butterflies that is creeping and fluttering inside what looks like a cool and calm exterior.

Rollercoaster that is what it feels like. The build-up and anticipation of an event that you have been waiting for, a chance you want to grab with both hands and not let go of. It is like getting on a rollercoaster, wanting to experience the majestic of what the iron beast has to offer.

So many thoughts run through your mind, the, what if I get on and the, what if I don’t, but that hunch just says, go forth and experience the thrilling ride. A ride that takes you on an adventure, an adventure that gets you screaming, crying, laughing, giggling, nauseous, scared, happy and also inspiring. When you get onto the ride everything is smooth sailing for a bit, until you reach the spirals and curves of what is all part of the monstrosity that can give you the most exhilarating feeling that you have ever experienced. Being pulled back and slowly climbing, almost crawling up what feels like a never ending stairs, all the while remaining calm and in tune and preparing for the thrill that is the rollercoaster, you reach the top and for a minute, you just take it all in, breathe deeply…inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale… and as the rollercoaster speeds up and drops, going through loops, circles, spirals and what all it feels like, as you start to scream and feel the rush that goes through your body, as your voice becomes louder, your heart beating faster, palms sweating and also feeling like the happiest experience that you could most probably want and get. For a few minutes it feels like you are deafened by the shrill sounds that escape your body, my the blood rushing to your ears and in those minutes it feels like a few seconds or hours, all depending on how scared you are or adrenalin junky you are.

It is like falling in love, going for a job interview or simply just checking your marks, waiting for an answer or working on a project that you put your heart and soul into. The thrills and build up makes you want to get on the rollercoaster and experience everything side of ecstasy it has to offer. It has its ups and downs, when you feel prepared and believing so hard that you really are doing your absolute best, your best to succeed in whatever field you have chosen, whenever it slows down and you feel like no progress is made and as if everything is coming to a halt, it is actually just to take a breather, a breather to take in all that is coming, almost like enjoying the quiet before the joyful surprise hits you as soon as that monstrosity speeds up and takes you on a ride that you couldn’t have imagined happening. When that rollercoaster starts taking you on an adventure that you have thought about but couldn’t have imagined the magnitude of rushing emotions, success and actual thrills that it would get you, when you hit the spirals it feels like you are relentlessly moving in a circle, upside down, wrong side up, sideways, but it’s all part of riding the wave of ecstatic energy that consumes you in heading for success and what ultimately makes you happy.

Getting on the rollercoaster, no matter how afraid you are of failure, getting your heart broken again into a million different pieces, the slow progress, the crawling creates the space to be absolutely amazing and experience heart pumping, breathless, happy, successful, joyful moments when you believe in what you are doing, when you trust the outcome of the rollercoaster when you are still on the ride, when you just enjoy the ride, when you scream and laugh, or cry and smile. When you get off you want to get on again, because you know it isn’t all that bad, so when that next interview, that next bf/gf enters your life, the sport challenge hits, when quitting just isn’t an option, you’ll gladly get on the rollercoaster and scream from the top of your lungs “I’ve got this, Bring it”