Leap down the Rabbit Hole- Part 2

 

As she wandered down the path, still high on all that has happened, she gets lost in herself, and she gets lost in her mind, trying to make sense of it all. She didn’t know what she had expected as she was falling down the rabbit hole, but whatever she might have expected was not even remotely close to what she was busy experiencing. As she gazes up at the sky and down at the ground, it is as if the sky is the brightest shade of blue that she has ever seen, as if the clouds were puffs of candyfloss floating in a beautiful piece of art, the grass tickled her feet and made her giggle like she hasn’t giggled in the longest time and as she kept walking every step her giggles turned into laughs, the laughs that came from within her soul and heart, turning into a song of happiness.

 

What she didn’t realise is, that time wasn’t a concept in the wonderland that she finds herself in. first, time seems to go by so quickly and then all of a sudden it just slows down, it slows downs as if everything is put into slow motion. She is usually so used to wanting things to happen fast and the way that she wants it to happen, this wonderland forces her to be present, it asks of her to feel, experience and embrace all the different types of thoughts and emotions that engulfs her as she steps-steps her way through this new place. She regularly finds herself lost in her own mind, lost in thought, lost in scenario’s that she creates, trying to figure things out, trying to be in control. And here she is learning patience, as the candyfloss clouds floats by effortlessly, as the grass pricks her feet and the sound of the wondrous surroundings just flows through every part of her being, like the veins through her body. For a minute when time seemed to pass ever so slowly, she just wanted to tap her heels together and wanted to go home, and she realised that she wasn’t Dorothy and the only way out is through. Here she becomes present, here she is starting to learn patience, here she is just being, being without knowing how or why, here she lost in a wonderland of new, weird and wonderful things and yet this is where she feels most at home, this is where she feels herself.

 

As she gets lost in thought being mesmerized by all the wonder that surrounds her, she loses track of time, she remembers the eyes that met hers when she first landed on the grass while coming to her senses, the eyes that she somehow got lost in, the eyes that glistened with a familiarity that she knew was one of the reasons she found herself in this land of wonder. It is funny, because somehow months had gone past and she found herself finding and exploring new avenues within this new experience, but it didn’t even feel all that long. Was it because she wasn’t living in her head anymore, was it because she was present in everything that she was going through, was it that for the first time she decided to just let go, to trust, to have faith, like when she took that leap down the hole.

 

She somehow found that she had a new sense of adventure within her, she found that she was more courageous than she has ever been before, she found that she was more confident, she found that she had this immense craving to try and want to do different things that scared her, things that has failed in the past, things that she would make her grow mentally, spiritually and physically. She had this new found allure to her, she always had it, but it is only know that it seemed to bloom, like a butterfly finally emerging from its cocoon. As she became more aware of her surroundings that is when she started to blossom, almost as if her embracing her surroundings, seemed to transcend and elevate the vibes and energy that she was embodying and sending out.

 

As the path before her seems long and strenuous, especially because she isn’t aware of what is around the bend or even further down the path, because there is no roadmaps, no road signs; the only signs and way of navigation she has, is the stars that light up the night sky like a bunch of fireflies against a dark canvas, the butterflies leading her to the most beautiful flowers, the little pieces of cakes with the words eat me and the bottles saying drink me, and this was all the signs she needed, because she was present. She listened to the voice of the wind, to the chirp of the birds, she listened to her heart, to her soul, as she followed the path, step by step.

She is in a whole new world, a world that she has dreamed off, a world where magic is at her fingertips, a world where those eyes that she gazed into is her compass, her guide, her true north, a world where endless possibilities awaits her, a world where she is a familiar stranger; this is her hole after all, the hole she leapt down.

Spring- Lessons from Nature

I am sitting here with an extremely stuffy nose, every time I open up my mouth to speak I sound like Batman talking into a Fan. Okay, let me be honest, my voice kind of sounds sexy, one of the perks of Sinus-season. As soon as spring started, the blossoms started blooming and the birdies starting building new nests, my eyes started itching and swelling, my nose became an ornament because I breathe through my mouth and well I attained a new kind of sexy husky voice. I knew in a few weeks this sinusitis will clear up and that I will be fully be able to smell the roses without the aid of some sort of medication that I have to snort or swallow.

This is such a beautiful season, just yesterday I found such a beautiful intricate built little nest in laying on the grass in the garden. They (with all honesty, I still do not know who they are) say when birds aren’t happy with a nest that they have built, they kick it out and start building a new one. For a moment I was so astonished by how these small little animals can build something so beautiful, the detail, the workmanship and the effort put into it, is literally breath taking. I am still wondering how they gather all the material and construct it into a home where eggs will be laid, a safe-haven for their little ones. I was and still am totally flabbergasted by the construction of the nest, by the art, by the beauty that nature provides.

So many times we want what we want and if we don’t get it in the amount of time that we set out for ourselves, we feel frustrated, anxious, angry and basically like everything is falling apart and that it wasn’t meant for us. I have been struggling with this (it happens a lot), knowing what I want, but not getting it, or feeling like it is taking too long, I the get anxious, I start to overthink, overanalyse and then I just want to give up and start on a search for something new. But just because something didn’t work out in the timeframe I set out for myself doesn’t mean that it won’t happen. It is like a push and pull action, like pushing a door that actually says pull, no amount of pushing action will open the door, because the anxious fear filled overthinking overanalysing brain cannot comprehend how pushing doesn’t open the door, because all scenario’s has been worked out, but nothing works, until you step back because all this pushing is extremely tiring and one can just push so much, so hard and so long. When stepping back and saying screw all this pushing action, I’m going to walk away from this, then the light bulb moment happens, when you actually realise you are supposed to pull and not push. This all could have been prevented, but sometimes we are just so eager for things to happen and play out the way we want it to, we misread what is right in front of us, we allow our anxious fear filled overthinking overanalysing brain to jump ahead of ourselves before we even see what is right in front of us. And when we see pull, it’s like an epiphany, and seeing that all that worrying was for nothing.

While looking at the nest this is something I just started to think about, this bird is busy building a home to keep its little ones safe, but it is definitely not driven by fear and anxiety, if it was, that nest wouldn’t have been kicked out. The bird takes its time to build something that is not only safe and sturdy, but a home and wanting it to be perfect. Yes, maybe the bird wanted it to be done at a specific time, but even if it was done in the specified time, it wasn’t up to standard and the right thing, so the bird just starts again, no element (wind, rain, sunshine) will allow this animal to stop it from making and doing the best that it can most possibly do.

The same with how we feel. If it isn’t done or you didn’t get it in the time you expected too, doesn’t mean it won’t be perfected or that it won’t happen. It literally just requires a little more patience, a little more faith, a little more belief, giving up because it didn’t happen when you wanted it to happen doesn’t mean it won’t, it also doesn’t mean that you have to settle for what is presented or change direction. It just means that believing in yourself and your abilities and working towards what you know it can and will be, no matter how long it takes, like the nest it will be perfected.

So this stuffy nose won’t be stuffy all of the time, and the sexy husky voice will go back to normal, but then being able to enjoy the beauty and art what the season has to offer will be what happens. Enjoying living in the now.